It is common knowledge that taking care of a newborn baby can be an extremely taxing and exhausting job. Not only is the mother recovering from the delivery, but she and perhaps her partner also have to make sure that the baby is fed throughout the day and night, growing well, and getting enough rest. Bottles need to be washed, milk needs to be pumped, formula needs to be made, clothes need to be laundered and doctors' appointments kept.
When caring for newborn twins, the stress more than doubles. Finding your footing takes time but it is vital for your sanity and wellbeing to have a schedule in place as soon as possible.
This includes making sure that mom and dad at least have brief moments of self-care. This may sound minimal but ten minutes in the shower can do wonders for a new parent. You must take care of yourself before you can take care of others. If the CO2 mask drops on an airplane, it is advised that you give yourself oxygen before giving the mask to a child. The same rule of thumb applies to parenting newborns.
When I look back on that first year of my twins’ lives, I wish that I had someone to prepare me for what was to come. My expectations were not my reality and that is why I want to help you.
1. Get the Twins on a Schedule and Stick to It
I cannot express enough how important it is for both babies to get on the same schedule.
There’s an old adage that says “Never wake a sleeping baby”. While this is true in most traditional circumstances, it’s not true when it comes to newborn twins. As soon as you are finished feeding one baby and you’ve got them back to sleep, wake the other one to change and feed.
As tempting as it may be to feed one and go right back to sleep, trust me–you will regret it. Because most infants feed every three hours in the newborn stage, the second your head hits the pillow you will hear the other one cry to eat. Try to get both twins fed back-to-back so that you can catch a few more ZZZ’s before the next feed. Otherwise, you will be up. all. night. I am speaking from personal experience!
2. Accept Help
After someone has a baby, many friends and family will say “Let me know if you need anything”. And then the response is typically “Okay, will do”. It’s more like exchanging pleasantries.
But when it comes to having newborn twins, take all of the help you can get. When someone offers anything at all, say YES. If you feel funny, please do yourself a favor and put your pride aside.
Help could be something as simple as a neighbor sitting with both babies so you can take a shower or nap. Or feeding one child while you feed the other, or having a trusted person sitting with the kids while you take ten minutes to eat or prepare a meal.
Help could be a family member offering to do one night shift so you can catch up on sleep. It can be a friend offering to drop off dinner, or someone running to the store to grab you more diapers. No matter what it is, accept the help. You will need it and you will be so grateful that you did.
3. Do Not Ignore the Signs of Post Partum (PPD) Depression
Speaking from personal experience, I cannot stress this enough. I had always heard about postpartum depression, but I never really thought it would happen to me. And when it crept up on me, I didn’t even realize I had it.
My OB-GYN told me that the next two weeks after the birth of my twins would be an emotional roller coaster. This is because a woman’s hormones are all out of whack and adjusting back to what they were before pregnancy. So when I was feeling down and crying a lot, I thought it was all normal.
Once I came home from the hospital, I remember wanting to sleep all the time. Even though my daughter was home with us and it was supposed to be an exciting time, I did not feel happy. I was sad, disinterested in parenting, and having difficulty bonding with her. Our son was still in the NICU so I’m sure that added to my feelings of stress and sadness.
I was lashing out at my husband and mother who was staying with us to help. I cried multiple times a day. Once our son came home after a 4 week stay in the NICU, my feelings and condition only got worse. I was so overwhelmed with taking care of two newborns and literally going from zero kids to two that I just couldn’t deal.
I remember feeling an overwhelming sense of impending doom. What was supposed to be one of the happiest times in my life, something I had always dreamed of actually coming true, seemed like some of the darkest days.
Again, I just thought these feelings were normal. I figured I was just overtired and stressed. Finally, after 6 weeks since giving birth, I decided to speak to my doctor about what was going on. Concurrently, I also decided that pumping, nursing, and bottle-feeding formula combined with the lack of sleep was taking a toll on my mental health. I stopped pumping and nursing and started taking a prescribed medication to help me feel like myself again.
Within two weeks, the fog lifted. I was finally happy and able to enjoy all of the things I waited so long for. I’m not saying it was easy or stress-free, but the medication definitely resolved my depression and made it much, much easier to cope.
If you are feeling an overwhelming sense of anxiety, depression, sadness, and darkness, please do yourself and your children a favor and call your doctor right away. There is so much help out there and you are definitely not alone. In fact, I think the number of sufferers is much higher than anyone can imagine. Know the signs and ask for help.
4. Get a “Table for Two” Twin Feeding System
As my husband says: “This thing is worth its weight in gold”.
Whether you score one used or can afford to invest in a new one, you won’t regret it! The “Table for Two” twin feeding system was designed by a twin mom and it significantly helped us to manage feeding both babies at the same time. Additionally, it was the perfect place to let them hang out next to each other in a safe place for a little while so mom or dad can get a few things done.
The Table for Two comes with safety harnesses to safely keep both babies in place. It also has bottle holders on each side for convenience, removable and washable inserts that stick to each seat with Velcro, and awesome armrests to support mom or dad’s elbows when feeding!
It can be used from newborn to 12 months (or longer in my opinion) and both seats are slightly reclined for optimum feeding and lounging.
Be sure to use our exclusive twin discount code TWINSANITY10 to save 10% at checkout!
5. Get a Large Play Yard Big Enough for Twins!!
The large play yard for twins saved us! Seriously. Want to do the dishes? Play Yard. Want to blow dry your hair? Play Yard. Want to clean the rest of the house? Play Yard. Have a cup of coffee or a glass of wine in peace? PLAY YARD!
A large play yard is the best solution ever to keep your young active twins safe and contained for a bit. The picture above was ours that we had through infancy and toddlerhood. It's a great way for the twins to have their own space and keep their toys contained to one area. Otherwise, the mess can get overwhelming quickly and I do not recommend stepping on small plastic toys on the floor! 0-10. For us, the toys would change but the daily usage never diminished!
I love the one above because it's highly rated, easy to use, comes in a few colors, is PORTABLE and a fantastic price point! Do yourself a favor and get a large play yard that you can use at home or when you travel.
6. Keep a Mini Fridge and Bottle Warmer in the Nursery. I’m Serious.
As I was trying to think of ways to make the nights just a little easier, I thought to myself “I wonder if I can find a mini fridge to put the prepared bottles in at night”. Of course, I checked Amazon and BAM…I found what I was looking for.
If you remove the little rack inside, you can fit 4 Dr. Brown’s 8oz bottles inside of this mini fridge. Then we put two electric bottle warmers on the dresser in the nursery and we had everything we needed for two nighttime feedings without having to go all the way downstairs to the kitchen.
Every night I would make a batch of formula to last through the next evening. You are allowed to keep prepared formula in the fridge for up to 24 hours. This is a major time saver, especially when caring for newborn twins!
7. Plan Easy Meals in Advance
Once you are home with your newborns, it might be difficult to find time to cook meals every day. I recommend a few things to make eating dinner a little easier.
A few weeks before you expect the babies to be born, prepare a few meals that you can freeze in advance. Put them in freezer bags and label them with the date and contents. The Crock Pot or Instant Pot is perfect for this. Every day you can take out your individually packed, home-cooked meals and thaw them for that evening.
Similarly, look up some quick, easy recipes that you can make and put in the refrigerator to have throughout the week.
I highly recommend using a grocery delivery service such as Instacart or Shipt to save you a trip to the store with your twins. Take advantage of the technology and services available to you during this special time in your lives. The memberships are worth it.
Keep lots of snacks in the fridge and pantry. Hummus and crackers, peanut butter and jelly, granola bars, fruit, canned soup, vegetables and dip, hard-boiled eggs, protein bars, yogurt, cheese sticks…whatever you like that is quick and easy. You might find it difficult to find time to eat breakfast or lunch…but you need to make sure you eat. Costco is a great place to buy snacks in bulk along with premade fresh meals that you can freeze!
If you are nursing, it’s essential to keep up your calorie intake and drink a tremendous amount of water. This helps to produce milk.
8. Share the Workload with Your Partner
If you are fortunate to have a willing partner, definitely take shifts so that both mom and dad can get a little bit of sleep.
We were so sleep-deprived that we came up with the following plan. My husband and I would do the 7pm feed together and then I would head to bed. He would then do the 10pm feeding by himself and I would sleep from 7pm until 1am. My husband would go to bed after the 10pm feed and would sleep until morning. At 1am, I would take over and do the next two feeds, 1am and 4am. Then at 7am, Ritchie would do that feed when he got up for work.
The other thing we did might sound a little crazy but we actually put a queen-size mattress on the floor in the nursery. Being in the same room as the babies enabled us to have everything we needed at our fingertips and allowed the other parent to get uninterrupted sleep in the master bedroom. Desperate times call for desperate measures!
9. Have a Changing Station in the Main Living Area
I ended up getting a used changing table for $15 on Facebook Marketplace. We kept it in our living room against the wall. The changing table had two shelves where we put storage bins filled with fresh onesies, extra diapers, socks, blankets, wipes, bibs, and everything we might need during the day. Bonus tip: we got the storage bins at the dollar store!
This was so helpful because we didn’t have to run upstairs to get something when we needed it right away! If you have the space, I highly recommend doing this to make your lives a bit easier. Check out this reasonably priced changing table below!
10. Get a Light Weight “Snap and Go” Stroller for the First Few Months
These strollers make a huge difference when running errands or taking both kids to the doctors. They are so easy to use, extremely lightweight, compact, and affordable and both car seats snap right in! If your twins are sleeping, no need to wake them. Once they outgrow their infant car seats, you will have no trouble reselling the stroller.
Well, there you have it! My Top 10 Guide to Caring for Newborn Twins. My hope for this post is that you have found at least some ways to make caring for twins and surviving the first 12 months a little easier. Never forget, you are not alone and I promise you…it DOES get easier!!!
If you have any questions about raising twins, don’t hesitate to reach out.
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